If you’re interested in choking during sex, you’re not alone. A national survey in 2020 of Americans aged 18 to 60 found that 21% of women reported being choked during sex, with 20% of men admitting to choking a partner. With “Choke Me Daddy” memes circulating on social media, it’s no surprise that the survey revealed higher rates of choking among adults aged 18 to 29 compared to older adults.
Choking, also known as erotic asphyxiation, may pique curiosity and arousal for some individuals. However, it carries risks. Here’s what you should know to stay safe and enjoy yourself.
Why do some people want to be choked during sex? According to Lisa Finn, a sex educator at Babeland, choking involves restricting airflow by applying pressure around the throat and windpipe. It can be appealing for reasons similar to other risky activities, such as BDSM play. The adrenaline rush, pain-pleasure dynamic, physical sensations, and power exchange are all factors that contribute to its allure.
Physiologically, being choked releases adrenaline and triggers the sympathetic nervous system, enhancing arousal and potentially intensifying orgasm.
What are the risks of choking during sex? Despite its erotic appeal, choking can be deadly, with autoerotic asphyxiation causing hundreds of deaths annually in the United States. Marla Renee Stewart, a sexologist, warns that incorrect choking techniques can lead to brain damage or death. Proper education and technique are crucial, and she recommends attending a class on choking.
Stewart emphasizes the importance of understanding the different choking methods (air choke vs. blood choke) and implementing safety measures like safe words and recognizing warning signs of harm.
For individuals with trauma considering choking, Stewart advises seeking guidance from a kink-aware and trauma-informed professional.
What should be discussed before introducing choking? Prior to engaging in choking, thorough communication and negotiation are essential to establish boundaries and ensure safety. Finn underscores the importance of aligning expectations and discussing preferences, such as the desired intensity and roleplay dynamics.
Establishing a safeword and a safe action is crucial. A safeword signals the need to stop all activity, while a safe action provides an alternative means of communication if speaking becomes difficult. Examples of safe actions include tapping out or using a predetermined signal.
If a partner becomes unresponsive, immediate cessation of activity and medical attention are imperative.